Now that I'm 30...

My 30th birthday has come and gone, and I'm still here. My dad reminded me over the phone that even a milestone is just another birthday. Part of me knows that, but part of me was still a bit bummed about turning 30. I think that to me, 30 means that I have to stop pretending to be a kid and just start acting like an adult. My retirement portfolio update for the last quarter came in the mail today...and it's pretty depressing...is this what adulthood means?

Enough of that! The past few weeks have been very fun, with Christmas and (yes) celebrating my birthday, and having my sweet husband home : ) Teachers may not make much money, but it sure is nice to have "Daddy" home for three weeks! He did do a lot of work planning for the coming semester, but he usually did his work during Jon's naptime and after bedtime, so we had a lot of fun during the day. We slept late most mornings, either stayed at home doing random stuff or went outside for walks and errands. Today was our first day of reality, with Jonathan back a work, Jon back at preschool, and me back on a normal routine. I feel rested, relaxed, and optimistic about the coming semester, which is a very good way to feel : )

Here are a few pictures (we are not picture taking people...thankfully our parents are documenting Jon's growth!!)

Below: Enjoying "Tuba Christmas" on the South steps of the Capitol building in Austin. A grand Pollock tradition to attend this amateur concert every year, and I'm glad Jonathan has embraced it. Note that he is in short-sleeves. I think it was around 65 that day! We even convinced some friends (in the background of the pic w/ Jon & Jonathan) to join us.

We had a post-Tuba Christmas lunch at Stubbs, like we did last year. I wish I had a picture of Jon at the table from last year! I must start taking pictures of these things! We enjoyed our barbecue, but it is nothing like a good, Memphis-style pulled pork sandwich from Central BBQ.

No pictures from Christmas : ( Again...I think my father documented. We enjoyed a lovely worship service at church, came home to a Christmas brunch with a couple of friends, then had naps (all of us!), and opened presents in the evening when my parents came in town. I think I actually prefer that set up over getting up and immediately opening presents. I received a much-needed new pair of Chacos, which I am slowly breaking in, a fun new cookbook (Make the Bread, Buy the Butter), and several other fun gifts. Jon is up to his eyeballs in new toys (only a kitchen and a block set from his parents I might add), and I am seriously going to have to put some away in closets because his toybox, toy basket, and shelves are literally full. There are trucks and stuffed animals lined up on the floor in my living room, and I need to remedy that soon.

Below: For my birthday, my sweet mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law came into town to watch Jon while Jonathan and I had a little mini-vacation in San Antonio for a few days. It was so nice to go out to adult restaurants, see a movie, and enjoy the company of my husband without having to worry about taking care of a 2-year-old. We really appreciate our family coming in town to help us out! Below is a picture from a restaurant on the Riverwalk. It was still decorated for Christmas, and all of the trees with lights were absolutely beautiful!

On Saturday, I had an afternoon at the salon where I enjoyed a mani/pedi and a non-soccer mom haircut. (The last time I had my haircut, I was appalled at how dated it was...this time, I went to a salon where a very sweet, very tattoo-ed girl with blue hair helped me pick out a new style. I think it worked). Below are my ruby-slipper toes to celebrate my birthday : )


So now we jump into 2012 and all it has to offer - hopefully continuing to build friendships in Texas while hanging on to our friendships in Tennessee, enjoying our toddler and laughing to ourselves even as we put him in his 5th time out of the hour, and tackling yet another higher education job search. Although 2011 had its stresses and heartaches, I do believe I grew over the year and I am so thankful for my family that I am with every day.

Christmas Cookies

This year, I thought Jon might be old enough to help me decorate Christmas cookies. (More on that later). So I invited some friends to a casual Christmas cookie decorating open house.

Then Jon was diagnosed with a respiratory virus, and all of our friends stayed home. I don't blame them, since who wants to expose their kid to germs four days before Christmas?

But we still had the party all to ourselves, and I think I will give my neighbors all of the cookies!

Before
(My Memphis friends may notice the Swanky's cups holding my icing bags).

So Jon didn't quite get the concept of decorating. He ate one un-iced cookie that I set in front of him, and then ate another cookie immediately after I had iced it and offered sprinkles for him to add. Oh well...maybe he just needs to be a bit older. One of my friends told me that her almost-3-year-old licked off the icing on all of the cookies she tried to get him to decorate! Is this a boy thing or a toddler thing??

Jonathan decides to join in on the fun!

The finished product!

I also think I have finally found my go-to sugar cookie and icing recipe! I have been searching for one for years - most everything I try is dry, tasteless, and not very appetizing. When I made snowman cookies for Jon's first birthday, they were adorable but nearly inedible. The cookie recipe I used this time around is from America's Test Kitchen - the roll-out butter cookie recipe. It is basically a shortbread recipe, but it has a little cream cheese for better flavor and texture. Then for the icing, I made the basic royal icing recipe from the Wilton meringue powder container, but added vanilla. The end product was a sweet, lightly flavored cookie and icing that I can definitely see myself making again. I am interested to try them flavored with citrus (maybe zest in the cookie and juice in the icing) or cinnamon/cardamon.

Jon

I titled this update simply "Jon," because that is what I hear a lot of these days. Jon has his name down, and he also understands possession. So this is a taste of his ramblings:

"Jon plate, Jon sippy cup, Jon fork" (at meal times, pointing to everything on the table)

"Jon ball?
"No, sweetie, not your ball."
"Jon ball?" (now reaching and grunting a little bit)
"No, sweetie, that is the store's ball."

He has also fused the words "please" and "Mama" into one, so whether he is talking to me or not, this is what he says:

"More Elmo pleasemama?"
"More banana pleasemama?"
"Up pleasemama?"
"Come pleasemama?"
"Go in Daddy car pleasemama?"

At least the kid is hopefully learning some manners : )

Speaking of manners, we are definitely in full-on testing mode at home and at school. The past week or two at school, Jon has been put in time out for not following directions or trying to wake up his friends during nap time. The teachers always say that he is not be malicious or mean, just doing his own thing and not following directions. At home, Jon responds pretty well to time outs, although sometimes it does take two in a row for him to either follow directions or discontinue negative behavior. I know he is too young to have rewards or consequences at home for his behavior at school, but I'm looking for suggestions to help him follow directions when I'm not around. We talk about obeying teachers like we obey Mama and Daddy, and his teachers are on board with counting/timeouts like we do at home. Thankfully his teachers have kids of their own and (at least to my face) tell me that they understand that testing is age appropriate and he is not really a trouble maker.

To end on a funny note, we thought maybe Jon didn't understand what "No" meant, because he would answer "No" for questions which it seemed obvious the answer was "Yes," for example:

"Jon, do you want to come inside?"
"No." (always said in a nonchalant, 'I'd really rather not,' tone of voice)
"Jon, do you want to stay outside?"
"No."

But the other day, Jonathan and I were trying to figure out who would change the last diaper of the day, and this made us laugh:

"Jon, do you want Mama to change your diaper?"
"No."
"Do you want Rar (the name of his dinosaur stuffed animal) to change your diaper?"
quick head turn and smile "Yes!"

Moms are awesome!

Get through the first paragraph, and you will see why I think moms are awesome : )

So this time last week, I was a bit of a wreck. I was emotionally checked out because I felt like everything I did was a failure: trying to raise my son, trying to keep my apartment in working order, trying to get my actual paying part-time job done, etc. My husband was a huge encouragement, but I was just feeling bad and he couldn't help me snap out of my funk. The sermon on Sunday was wonderful - about Jesus' genealogy and how anyone who was in the midst of the Old Testament may not have understood how certain unpleasant events would lead to redemption...but they did! Moral of the story: God has the long view, and we need to trust him even when we might not understand what is going on in the present. I was basking in the glow of being reminded of God's love and faithfulness, then I fell (while trying to step over a baby gate holding my 30+ pound son...do not do this) and twisted my knee. I kind of lost it. I was in pain, Jon was screaming and crying, and I started crying and just could not stop. Monday I was doing a little better, but still felt a bit of a cloud hanging over me.

Then...my mom called : ) And suggested that she come visit : ) So she came down for about 24 hours, just Thursday to Friday afternoon. She helped me put up Christmas decorations, made some chicken noodle soup, entertained Jon in the cart while we went grocery shopping, helped me rearrange some furniture, and just all around made me feel loved. It's sometimes just nice for someone to come in from out of town for the day and spend time with you. Especially your mom.

Jonathan noted on Friday afternoon that I was in a much better mood than I had been the previous week. I agreed, knowing that it took some good reminders from Scripture, a little time to myself, and a visit from Mom.

Favorite Quote of the Day

"To hell with you. To hell with you and to hell with the internet. It's distracting. It's meaningless; it's not real. It's in the air somewhere."

- Ray Bradbury, 91, to Yahoo, when asked to put one of his books online.

Yesterday it was reported that Fahrenheit 451 will be published in eBook form. Kind of makes me want to reread it now that I'm not being forced to by my English teacher. I will, however, pick up the paperback on my bookshelf, because that's the way Mr. Bradbury wanted it to be.

Quick notes!

Wow! So much has been going on lately! I'm too lazy to post pictures, but I'll get some up soon. We were in Chattanooga a couple of weeks ago for Jonathan's sister's wedding, and it was a lot of fun. I possibly pushed myself a little more than I should have, but I was having a blast creating decorations for the wedding, cooking, baking, and spending a small fortune at Hobby Lobby! Back at home, we were just back to 'normal' when Jon came down with his first ear infection (almost made it 2 years!) and croup : ( And now we are getting ready to go up to my parents' home for Thanksgiving - ALL of the kids and their spouses will be in one place at one time, and we are excited.

Here are some quick, fun facts about Jon these days:
* Loves giving hugs and kisses! To us, his teachers at school, his friends, our cat, his stuffed animals, his blocks, the furniture, his food, the car...everything
* Eating much better with a fork and spoon. It usually lasts the first half of the meal, then he gets tired of it and just goes back to eating with his fingers
* "Up, please" is one of his favorite phrases, and I have had to start telling him that he is sometimes getting to big to be picked up.
* Speaking of being a big boy, Jon made it through the first half of the worship service on Sunday sitting in his own seat and standing up next to me during the standing parts (singing songs, responsive readings, etc.) He usually sits in one of our laps and we hold him while standing, but we've started putting him in his own seat (partly because he is soooo big), and he is doing really well : )
* Loves singing his ABCs, the Wheels on the Bus, 10 Little Pumpkins, and Row, Row, Row Your Boat
* I am trying to teach Jon how to say his name. He refers to himself as "baby," but recently he has been saying "Jaawww" when I ask him what his name is. Sometimes I'll get a "Jaaawww-nah" Super cute!

Okay, that's all for now! Happy Thanksgiving!

long week

Hello Friends,

It has been a long week for our family. This time last Friday, I was bleeding and cramping, starting to miscarry our 9-week-old new baby. Although I had a slight warning - an ultrasound 12 days earlier that showed a slow heart rate - I had been hoping and praying that our little one would grow and gain strength. Seeing my baby on the ultrasound monitor without any movement was the saddest thing I have ever witnessed in my life. Although it did not take away our grief, I did have some relief that if there was something wrong with the baby developmentally, it died early and not half way through the pregnancy or two days after he/she was born. Jonathan and I have been leaning on our faith, that God is the creator of all life, and that he has a good plan for our family. I am thankful for our church family that has been praying for us and supporting us, my mother who came down for four days this week to help us with Jon while I had a procedure at the hospital to finish the miscarriage, and I am thankful for my sweet little boy who has been the source of many smiles this week. Jonathan and I both do not know how we would have gotten through this if it had happened when we were pregnant with Jon. My heart goes out to women who lose their first babies, without the joy of a son or daughter at home for comfort.

Right now I am still deeply sad. Not angry. Not bitter. Not hopeless. Just sad and tired. If you are a praying person, I would ask you to pray for our family over these next few months, that our sorrow would be turned to joy. I hesitated to share about the miscarriage in such a public arena, but I have taken comfort from those I know who have been through this before, and I hope that someday I can be a comfort for another going through this. Since anywhere from 1 in 5 to 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage, I am sure that some of you reading this have gone through this.

Speaking about our little energy-ball of joy, Jon is wanting to play so I need to wrap this up! Thank you for your support.

As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb,
so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things. - Ecclesiastes 11:5