Friday, November 4, 2011

long week

Hello Friends,

It has been a long week for our family. This time last Friday, I was bleeding and cramping, starting to miscarry our 9-week-old new baby. Although I had a slight warning - an ultrasound 12 days earlier that showed a slow heart rate - I had been hoping and praying that our little one would grow and gain strength. Seeing my baby on the ultrasound monitor without any movement was the saddest thing I have ever witnessed in my life. Although it did not take away our grief, I did have some relief that if there was something wrong with the baby developmentally, it died early and not half way through the pregnancy or two days after he/she was born. Jonathan and I have been leaning on our faith, that God is the creator of all life, and that he has a good plan for our family. I am thankful for our church family that has been praying for us and supporting us, my mother who came down for four days this week to help us with Jon while I had a procedure at the hospital to finish the miscarriage, and I am thankful for my sweet little boy who has been the source of many smiles this week. Jonathan and I both do not know how we would have gotten through this if it had happened when we were pregnant with Jon. My heart goes out to women who lose their first babies, without the joy of a son or daughter at home for comfort.

Right now I am still deeply sad. Not angry. Not bitter. Not hopeless. Just sad and tired. If you are a praying person, I would ask you to pray for our family over these next few months, that our sorrow would be turned to joy. I hesitated to share about the miscarriage in such a public arena, but I have taken comfort from those I know who have been through this before, and I hope that someday I can be a comfort for another going through this. Since anywhere from 1 in 5 to 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage, I am sure that some of you reading this have gone through this.

Speaking about our little energy-ball of joy, Jon is wanting to play so I need to wrap this up! Thank you for your support.

As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb,
so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things. - Ecclesiastes 11:5

4 comments:

jillemersonbell said...

Megan, Thank you for sharing. I would love to pray for you and Jonathan and Jon. I am sorry for your loss and am encouraged by your trust in the Lord. Love, Jill

Stacey Hays said...

praying

Kyle and Matt Still said...

Oh, Megan, I am so sorry for you and your family. I had a miscarriage before I got pregnant with Banks and it is such a sad time. I will be praying for your healing, physically and emotionally.

Kathryn said...

Oh, Megan. You have been on my mind so much this past month. I wish I had already picked up the phone to say hello. I'm sorry I haven't done that yet. Know that I love you and will keep you and your family in my prayers.